Gratitude


     Being hospitalized, gratitude is something I realized I've taken for granted. Just saying thank you or telling someone that you appreciate what they are doing can make a difference in someone's day. Simply being grateful for waking up or being able to get dressed or brush your teeth is something that we tend to overlook. In the hospital, there was  a spirituality therapy that I was unsure of just because of the name spirituality. 

    Personally, I am not very religious due to my past traumas where I felt God was not there when I needed him. I was very religious when I was younger due to my parents. With that being said, I decided to give this session a chance. Being in the hospital, I learned to be more open to experiences and accept what I can not control. 

     When the session started, it was led by a Rabi who had purple hair. This was interesting to see a person of worship with that style. He first began by stating this is not based on religion but gabbing faith. The Rabi then went into speaking about gratitude and we went over an interesting article about what we are thankful for. Simply by saying thank you can make a whole difference in a persons life. Don’t take the little things for granted. Learn to live in the moment and appreciate what you have going on in front of you. 

     To me, this was eye opening because I had been taking everything in my life for granted. I thought I had nothing going for me but simply reevaluating my life I learned to see the bigger picture. Grateful for being independent and the people I have in my life.  I had let my depression take everything away from me but no more. We went around saying what we were thankful for and I said I’m thankful for my friend and personal trainer Conor Klump. We’re not talking right now because of a falling out but hope to fix that. Conor had been there for me when I needed someone helped me with my depression through working out and just talking to each other. Now that he is upset with me he acts out of anger saying we are not close and we’re not friends. I have no hard feelings but to fix things with him. I’m thankful for meeting conor and for him changing my life for the better. I hope to one day fix things with him. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When will I get it right?

Image
 Have you ever fucked up so badly with someone that you would do anything to make it right? Well, that’s me. I fucked up and hurt the one person that matters to me the most and whose opinion I value. I want to make it right by apologizing and working things out with Conor. After we met the other day, to talk, nothing was resolved. I want to apologize to everyone I hurt and take steps to prove to him I’m not that person. Peace was not created. I’ve been crying everyday since and unable to get out of bed. Been calling into work because there’s no point in being a nurse if I hurt the one person I loved and know is for me. Conor 🙏🏻, I pray for anyone to help me make things right with him. I wrote a long letter explaining everything because I suck at talking. How do I make it right? I want to talk ownership for all the damage I’ve done but Conor won’t hear me out. We were close emotionally and I hurt him with my insecurities and depression. I want to prove to him things will be different
Read more

Isaac Alan AKA Conor Klump

Image
 Recently, I met someone online who I was getting along with really well. His name was Isaac Alan. I initially met him online through an app because I was looking for Conor because to me he was missing. Conor and I were talking again briefly again before this. We had discussed him moving in with me because he was owing 6000 in debt and needed 2000 for his car. I had said I would let him move in to help him get back in his feet financially. I said I would help him out by helping him with his car. I had asked him to let’s meet up for coffee that Tuesday morning.  He had agreed to meet up. We were supposed to meet for coffee on that Tuesday and talk again later that day. When the time showed, I did not hear from him or did he show up. I tried to contact him but he didn’t show up or I couldn’t reach him. I got worried and panicked because we were finally talking and trying to work things out. Because of this I reported a missing person on Craiglists. I did not go to the police because they
Read more

My Suicide Attempt

Image
       My downward spiral and low point began Thursday afternoon April 21st when I received an email from my manager that she had wanted to talk to me with HR via Zoom on Friday about a complaint Conor made against me out of anger. He had attempted to do the same thing at my husband's work but since he is not a patient with my husband they wouldn't do anything. My job had to investigate because Conor "works" at the same place as I do as a contractor for online trial.       At this point, I was working on myself to work on my depression and anxiety. I had been attending Intensive Outpatient Program through Hartgrove and was making a lot of progress. I started this to prove to Conor, I was working on myself and that things would e different. I explained and itinerated that I could not go to this meeting due to my mental health. She would not take no for an answer even though I said I would not happen for my mental wellness.        The next day, I get an email from my ma
Read more