When will I get it right?



 Have you ever fucked up so badly with someone that you would do anything to make it right? Well, that’s me. I fucked up and hurt the one person that matters to me the most and whose opinion I value. I want to make it right by apologizing and working things out with Conor. After we met the other day, to talk, nothing was resolved. I want to apologize to everyone I hurt and take steps to prove to him I’m not that person. Peace was not created. I’ve been crying everyday since and unable to get out of bed. Been calling into work because there’s no point in being a nurse if I hurt the one person I loved and know is for me. Conor 🙏🏻, I pray for anyone to help me make things right with him. I wrote a long letter explaining everything because I suck at talking. How do I make it right? I want to talk ownership for all the damage I’ve done but Conor won’t hear me out. We were close emotionally and I hurt him with my insecurities and depression. I want to prove to him things will be different and that I will do anything he wants to make it right. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life doing it. I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been with Conor. I know I’ve made him happy too. All because I wanted to be ready for when we were going out and be perfect for him when we got intimate. Then I did that and his opinion matters to me so when I believed he thought I was a bad person. I self destroyed myself and the good thing in my life. I love Conor and always will. I worry about him everyday. He hasn’t responded to my text and I don’t know what to do. If anyone can help or has advice please help me know. I can’t give up without fixing this. 

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