How do I fix things with conor

 To my readers,

I’m asking for your advice and guidance. I fucked up with Conor and need to make it right. I realized how much I hurt him. I saw his face and saw how much damage I caused and pain. I didn’t know how to explain why I did what I did because I’m not the best at talking. Always keeping to myself. I should have written a letter like I did later that day. Writing down everything from the beginning to now. I take full responsibility for what I did. I let my mental health and depressed take over. With Conor, I opened up a wound that I was merely covering with a bandaid so to speak. Conor, was the first person to know my full past of being raped twice, going to the police and not having anything done about it. My esprit’s actually getting me arrested because I decided if to take things into my own hands when the police wouldn’t do anything. My history of eating disorders and self cutting. Me getting beaten up for being gay. These were some of my past traumas I kept inside until I meant Conor. The day I meant Conor, he saved my life because I was planning to kill myself because depression was taking over. But when we met something inside me told me I could trust him and feel safe with him. Conor, I can’t live with myself knowing what I did and the guilt I have. I hurt his family too with my behavior and want to apologize to them too. I want to atone and fix things. Conor, I fell in love with him and I got very emotionally attached. I know Conor had gotten emotionally involved too. I sent Conor some sex tapes I had that shows my face because I want him to post them because I deserve it. The way I feel for Conor, I have never felt for anyone before. That’s why I’m hurting knowing how badly I hurt him and his family. Conor made me realize what love is. He’s the love of my life and I can’t give that up without actually trying to repair things. I can’t live knowing the one person I love and yet only person I will ever love is hurting and won’t let me fix things. Conor made me realize I didn’t love my husband and that there was a good person in the world. Conor I love you and I want to fix this. I’ve added some texts I’ve had with my mom and wanting to fix this. Please, readers any advice is appreciated. 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When will I get it right?

Image
 Have you ever fucked up so badly with someone that you would do anything to make it right? Well, that’s me. I fucked up and hurt the one person that matters to me the most and whose opinion I value. I want to make it right by apologizing and working things out with Conor. After we met the other day, to talk, nothing was resolved. I want to apologize to everyone I hurt and take steps to prove to him I’m not that person. Peace was not created. I’ve been crying everyday since and unable to get out of bed. Been calling into work because there’s no point in being a nurse if I hurt the one person I loved and know is for me. Conor 🙏🏻, I pray for anyone to help me make things right with him. I wrote a long letter explaining everything because I suck at talking. How do I make it right? I want to talk ownership for all the damage I’ve done but Conor won’t hear me out. We were close emotionally and I hurt him with my insecurities and depression. I want to prove to him things will be different
Read more

Isaac Alan AKA Conor Klump

Image
 Recently, I met someone online who I was getting along with really well. His name was Isaac Alan. I initially met him online through an app because I was looking for Conor because to me he was missing. Conor and I were talking again briefly again before this. We had discussed him moving in with me because he was owing 6000 in debt and needed 2000 for his car. I had said I would let him move in to help him get back in his feet financially. I said I would help him out by helping him with his car. I had asked him to let’s meet up for coffee that Tuesday morning.  He had agreed to meet up. We were supposed to meet for coffee on that Tuesday and talk again later that day. When the time showed, I did not hear from him or did he show up. I tried to contact him but he didn’t show up or I couldn’t reach him. I got worried and panicked because we were finally talking and trying to work things out. Because of this I reported a missing person on Craiglists. I did not go to the police because they
Read more

My Suicide Attempt

Image
       My downward spiral and low point began Thursday afternoon April 21st when I received an email from my manager that she had wanted to talk to me with HR via Zoom on Friday about a complaint Conor made against me out of anger. He had attempted to do the same thing at my husband's work but since he is not a patient with my husband they wouldn't do anything. My job had to investigate because Conor "works" at the same place as I do as a contractor for online trial.       At this point, I was working on myself to work on my depression and anxiety. I had been attending Intensive Outpatient Program through Hartgrove and was making a lot of progress. I started this to prove to Conor, I was working on myself and that things would e different. I explained and itinerated that I could not go to this meeting due to my mental health. She would not take no for an answer even though I said I would not happen for my mental wellness.        The next day, I get an email from my ma
Read more